Giving In Alone
by RideMyUnicorn
Summary: Sometimes imagination is as relieving as it is painful. / England x Unnamed Male (Solo Fantasy)


Arthur dropped himself heavily onto his bed, his body hot and tingling straight down to his fingertips. "Nng..." he groaned softly, rolling onto his side, and then once more onto his back. He clenched his fingers, one hand drifting slowly down his frame, eyelids fluttering closed as the tips of his fingers touched the slight bulge growing between his legs. He tilted his head back, bushy brows knitting together just a bit as he increased the pressure of his fingers, legs spreading apart just the smallest bit. The nation let his mind wander, for the first time not restraining it as it moved to latch to one particular thing. He'd never admit it—as he brought the pads of his fingers, his free hand, up to touch his lips—exactly what it was his head attached itself to.

Letting out a heated breath, lips parted, he shuddered, pressing his hand harder as his mind filled in his memory-fantasy. He recalled the warm touch of those lips as easily as if that simple event had happened only moments ago. The warm tingle surged down through his body in a heady throb, his growing erection further tenting his trousers. Within his mind, he weaved the image,_ the other before him, bodies so close their warmth collided, his arm around his shoulder... Lips moving together, breath intermingling... part of each other... It was so simple, so meaningless, _why did it get him going like this?

"Mmnn..." He let his memory continue past reality, _soft kiss growing more heated, his phantom-self taking a chance, pulling the other's bottom lip with his teeth. What he wished he'd done. Hands moved up, wrapped around his neck, yanked him down into it even more. Sucking on that bottom lip, he swiped his tongue into his imaginary companion's mouth as those lips parted for him. He tasted the sweet tinge of alcohol, of the so pointedly _him _flavour... wet and hot and accepting as he explored, that other tongue twining around his, rubbing, invading... The other grasped tightly at his hair, pulling as Arthur forced him back, dominating in that kiss._

Back in the real world a giddy shudder wracked through him, and he continued rubbing with his fingers, his hand still working slowly, dreadfully slowly. Only in his own world could he have exactly what he wanted; he wanted it to last, now that he had even the slightest sensation to go with it.

In his mind, _that kiss escalated further, and he pushed his partner back, up against the wall, hands taking hold of those hips and pulling him forward as he urged with his own. The steady sensation of pressure, of another body's growing bulge._

He rubbed the heel of his hand against his trousers as if to imitate this, even knowing that it was absolutely no substitute for the real thing. Without thinking, he rolled himself over and rubbed his hips down into the mattress instead, letting his lower body hang off the edge, his toes touching the floor and giving a bit of leverage. "F-fuck," he growled out, both his phantom self and real self grinding forward again.

_His chosen lover tilted his head back suddenly, letting out a lusty moan as he moved his hands up, tweaking a nipple through his shirt. Of course he didn't let an opportunity like that go to waste, immediately latching his mouth to his neck. He dragged his lips down that neck he imagined to be so soft and warm, feeling his pulse thrumming just below the surface. The quickened beat of his heart as he rubbed his hips a bit more urgently, fluttering just the way he'd privately always wanted it to, just for him. Just because of him. He littered that phantom neck, suckling dark bruises into that pale flesh, claiming him, his hands working under that expensive shirt, attempting to work it off. In the end he simply lost his patience for the garment, ripping the halves open in a spray of buttons. _

Arthur let out a soft groan, fisting the sheets below him as he ground himself a bit more purposely, aching beneath his trousers, yet didn't give himself the relief he so desperately desired.

Because in his fantasy, he suffered the same fate, and it was something simple to duplicate, to put himself further from the reality of being alone in a dark room, aching for someone he could never have.

_Of course his pseudo-lover wouldn't remain idle as he bruised his neck and thrust his hips into the wall. As the Brit dragged his hands across that now bare chest, touching, feeling the warmth, pinching and tweaking his nipples, the other attempted to assert some form of dominance over the situation, forcing him back slowly with his body alone. Slow steps, as he gripped at his hair and yanked Arthur's head about, crushing him down in another, much more bruising kiss. He allowed himself to be led backwards, until suddenly turning, twisting them and throwing his companion to the mattress. In an instant he had him pinned, the other's legs on either side of his hips. There was still too much clothing, too much friction and not enough contact. Arthur growled in his throat as his would-be-lover smirked up at him, eyes filled with fiery lust, demanding. Of course the Brit obliged, nearly clacking their teeth together as he lurched forward once more, rocking their hips more fervently._

_The other propped himself up, and he allowed him to, as those warm lips touched his neck. His whole body shuddered as he imagined what those lips would feel like, finding all of those little spots on his neck no one had touched in ages._ The last person he'd been with hadn't even bothered trying to do anything to help, just lying there—not that he minded too terribly, he still got off after all.

_"Say my name," he demanded as he pulled back, hastily yanking the other's trousers off, throwing them to some oblivion on one side. He heard his desired response, heated and breathy, in that voice so unlike his own, as he reached forward and grasped the other's penis, hard and hot and already weeping as he gave him a languid stroke. _

Arthur's body shook as he lifted himself up onto the mattress, his knees spread apart on the sheets as he finally freed himself from the fabric, only pushing them down far enough to free himself, spreading his knees apart some. In his mind,_ his other self relieved himself as well, shoving his trousers down his legs as he dribbled lube over his fingers. _He was rushing a bit, now, his toes curling as his fantasy worked heat through his frame faster than it had in the longest while.

What great being could have ever thought he would have desired _another man_ so deeply as to fantasise about him as he touched himself, _him_ specifically?

He let out a sharp sound, he pushed forward, and his fantasy shifted, and suddenly _he was inside the other man, face pressed into the bare skin of his shoulder. He rocked his hips hard, that form beneath him lurching with each forward motion, tight and burning hot. He held him close, closer than he'd held any of his meaningless bedmates in the past century, those arms around his shoulders, fingers tangled in his hair. _The Englishman moaned unashamedly, stroking his prick in time with the forward movements of his fantasy, distantly wishing his hand could burn with the same warmth of another's body_. _And, _Yes, just like this. He moved slowly, softly, gently, forcing the other's body go give way to him, to accept him, urging soft moans and whimpers out of that throat, and he littered it further with his affection. In this place, they were so much more than reality... He stole another kiss, swallowing down those delicious sounds as he moved a bit faster, a bit harder, holding tightly to him. _

"A-ahn..." He shifts on the mattress, his knees spreading apart a bit better, his head resting against the sheets. His hips jerked into his hand now, thrusting in time with the _harsh forward motions into that welcoming body, pliant beneath him. He lifted those legs, hooked his hands under his knees and spread him wide, giving himself a wonderful view of his own cock sliding in and out of that hole stretched just for him, of that prick angry red and dripping, throbbing, bouncing with the harsh forward thrusts. His lover's hands had moved up, gripping the headboard and he was lifting himself into the Brit's motion, belting out the sweetest symphony of sounds, little noises he'd never heard anywhere else..._

Clinging desperately to what remained of his fragmented mind, the pleasure building, sensation of pressure becoming too much. He groaned out loud, quaking as he fought to hold on, just for a few moments more. But he could never quite imagine, he could never fill in the face of what his fantasy-lover would look like when he came. So _he closed his eyes tight, the heat and pressure and noise, the constriction all around, becoming too much, the heated spatter of his lover's semen on his belly pushing him over..._

He bit his lip, only just holding back the moan from turning into a name as he coated his fingers, giving himself a few more strokes in a vain attempt to milk it—something he rarely managed to do on his own. Slowing and eventually stopping, he dropped himself to one side of the now-damp spot on his sheets. He was gasping softly, breath struggling to enter his lungs, to return to normal, he left his eyes closed, enjoying the afterglow and the fading memory of his fantasy.

Arthur didn't want to return to that harsh reality just yet, where he was alone in his bed, where the one he wanted... wanted nothing to do with him. So instead, he kept his eyes closed, imagined that the slight pulse beneath his ear was the beat of the other's heart, that the way his body throbbed and twitched in just that odd little way was the breath of someone else beneath him. Ignored the cold sheets, the completely inhuman feel of the mattress... He breathed out, speaking something he swore he'd never say, hating how his eyes burnt and watered as he drifted further from consciousness in the warmth of his bed, in the imaginary warmth of an imaginary man he'd never have the slightest chance with.

What a sad old man he had become...

* * *

_(Written 12 Mar 2012)_


End file.
